standardgaydad:

u know u fucked up when u still haven’t slept yet and u hear birds chirping outside

(via rejoyces)

tinychatting:

my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone

(via fake-mermaid)

lameborghini:

getting caught taking selfies in public changes u as a person

(via fake-mermaid)

majiinboo:

  • Do not forget Michael Brown
  • Do not forget how the media dehumanized him and tried to justify his murder
  • Do not forget how peaceful protests were painted as savage riots
  • Do not forget police armed with military grade weapons terrorized and arrested black civilians
  • Do not forget Darren Wilson being awarded over $400,000 in fundraiser donations for murdering an unarmed black child
  • Do not forget that this system was not built to defend us, but to control us
  • Do not forget Ferguson 

(via wittiful)

penis-official:

ok so today our teacher has this policy where if your phone rings you either put it away or he can answer it
so he told us about this one time where a girl let him answer the phone and when the person on the phone asked for her he simply replied
“sorry she’s in the shower do you want to leave her a message”

the person on the phone was her dad

saying “it was my teacher” sure didnt help

(via twistedtwit)